Naked Dreams

I’m already starting to have dreams of inadequacy.  No naked ones yet, but definitely headed in that direction.  So far they are just dreams in which I can’t figure out something really basic, like putting on underwear.  It seems like it’s just a matter of time until I fall asleep to find myself completely naked in a public place.

For the past two days I’ve been reading some essays that are part of a study in which students are given an on-demand writing task in the fall and again in the spring.  It is assumed that their teachers will be instructing them in doing multiple-text, claim-based writing all year, and that measurable improvement will occur between the two essays.  The problem is, I saw little improvement between any of the essays I read.  My friend who is deeply involved in this project says how carefully you have to look to see the subtle improvement, and don’t I just love that rubric?  Being far less invested in the project than she is, I failed to see much change at all, subtle or otherwise.  Occasionally, I saw what she meant, but it was rare.  Mostly I just read a ton of terrible essays.

I learned who some of the teachers were, and they were people I respect.  Other readers were commiserating about the papers, wondering what they could to help that teacher, and does she just not really know how to teach writing?  Does she just talk a good line?  So (you probably know where this is going…) this leads me to myself.  Do I know how to teach kids to write?  How do I do it?  Will I notice if my students improve?  Shall I start with journals and write every day with them?  Does that help at all, or is it just a time filler?  How directly must I teach writing?  Will that beat any desire to write out of them?  What results can you expect with twelve year olds?  Do they like to read and write, or have they already lost that?  If someone reads papers my students write, will they be saying that I don’t know how to teach writing and I’m all talk?  What if that’s true?!

I plan to begin the year with an inquiry stance, and keep anecdotal notes on it all.  I’m not exactly sure what my question will be yet, but I think it will be a matter of narrowing it down to only one.  There is certainly no dearth of them at this point.

In which I read the pacing chart…

Well, I read it.  I just couldn’t resist.  I’d heard so much about the pacing charts and where writing might be able to squeeze in, or not.  Thinking it couldn’t be as bad as all that, I just had to take a peek at it.  At first it delineates reading clusters (translate: genres?) by quarter, along with spelling, vocabulary and grammar lessons for the same time period.  Okay, I could live with that, I thought.  Then I turned the page and there it was.  August 20 - 24, read this story.  For lower level readers, it could be replaced by this other one.  Actually, you have two stories to read with the lower level readers from August 20 - September 14.  Students on grade level read four stories and have a writing workshop about response to literature thrown in.  No writing for the English Learners or any others who are not on grade level.  The two stories offered for this time period are from distinct parts of the themed core reader.  Evidently they were chosen because both are fiction, the genre of the month.  Never mind following a theme, like the book is set up.  

This seems like a scattered approach to teaching.  As a teacher of English Language Development, I’ve always relied on a “big idea” or overarching theme to connect the various activities we were doing in class.  To me “Fiction” is not a theme or a big idea.  I think it helps English Learners to connect when there is a big idea like “Family” or “Conflict” or “Identity” to tie everything together. Is this how everyone does it?  Am I out of date?  Or is this the difference between direct instruction and thematic instruction?  Why do we have to jump around and teach the standards in every which order?  Aren’t the textbooks arranged in a certain order for a reason?  I have never relied much on a textbook, because those designed for teaching English Learners never seemed adequate to me, so maybe I’m just ignorant.

I really am not being sarcastic here, although the temptation is great.  I really am at a loss.  I wonder how one finds time to teach out of all these workbooks, and if you really keep the kids’ attention in doing so.  Is this why they don’t want to read?  This makes me nervous.  So, as I see it, I will teach two stories in the first three weeks of school, and all the rest of the time will be spent doing workbook activities that somehow pertain (or mostly pertain) to the stories.  Will that give the kids a better grasp of the pertinent standards?  How do I keep track of all the activities I’m supposed to do?  Where is the time for scaffolding of background knowledge prior to reading?  Oh my.

Summertime and the living is easy?

I am officially on vacation. I managed to slog through my last week of work, pack everything up for my move to the middle school and only take a few things home. The summer looks long, yet I know it will be over in an instant. I have so much to do to prepare for the fall, at the same time that I need to rest and renew my energy. I decided that I need to begin this first day by filling out a calendar, so I can see everything I have committed to do in the next six or seven weeks. Seems like an odd way to relax I think, but by knowing when I’m supposed to be somewhere, I can more easily let go the rest of the time.

I may wait a few days before I dig into McDougal Littel and the pacing chart. I’m not quite ready to face that yet, but having it gives me comfort. I have some time to figure out how I will use it, how I will supplement it if I feel the need. With three hours a day, surely I can add something to this box of books and workbooks. Will I need to? I suspect I’m already seen as a potentially subversive element about to be launched on these unsuspecting seventh-graders. How often will the pacing police be hanging around my classroom?

While I’m excited about the prospect of being in the classroom again, any classroom, I am feeling particularly challenged and excited about teaching ELD AVID. This is a class in which I will be able to try things that aren’t in the adopted curriculum. We can do the “Moon Journals” project that I have wanted to try ever since I bought the book by Gina Rester-Zodrow and Joni Chancer about ten years ago. That is a lovely project which involves reading, writing, art and inquiry. What a great combination!

I can also try some digital stories with them, even a class blog if I can ever get Edublogs opened up as promised several months ago. I know already that Voice Threads is unprotected by the district firewall, which is something I’m excited to try as well. I will look for a deal on headphones with a mike this summer, so I’ll be prepared for that. Of course I will teach them to take Cornell notes and ask level two and three questions, and have intelligent discussions - that is all part of AVID. But at this grade level, AVID has to be fun, and I plan to do my best to make that happen!

But wait - with all this planning for next school year, what happens to the resting and renewing? Maybe it is the thinking about what is to come that brings the greatest renewal for me. I’m heading into something I love, which is all I really need. Well, that and a daily trip to the gym and some early morning photo walks. And some other things that I’ll ignore until I can’t stand the dead grass and the messy house any longer. Enjoy your time off, if you are lucky enough to have some!

Ready, set, summer!

Okay now, the office is packed, my summer goals are set and as of tomorrow afternoon I’m off for the summer. The thing is, I have planned enough stuff to do this summer to take a year off, and I only have about a month, six weeks at the most. Planning curriculum, finishing a novel, designing new classes, going to the gym every day, eating in a way that will require some preparation (aka time), cleaning my house, installing sprinklers and planting flowers, for a start. Oh yes, and watching all those movies on my Netflix list. This rest and relaxation will require a tight schedule! Maybe not sleeping very much. Rest on a schedule? Actually, I imagine I’ll just lower my expectations and be good with it. The novel has been waiting for a few months, it can wait a little longer. The sprinklers? Hire someone! The house? That is a problem that will require a chunk of my time. Maybe I’ll just make myself an time online limit - that will save hours!  Maybe I can do that… We’ll see.

Wordie: AVID ELD or ELD AVID?

This application is interesting. I found myself altering my words to make the word cloud better fit my main idea. Could this somehow be used in editing the content of student work? A way to show them what they have really focused on? It is at minimum a demonstration of redundancy. maybe that is all it is! It’s pretty fun to play with. The link is in the blogroll, if anyone is interested.

Packing it all up again

For the past three or four years I have packed up my work stuff and moved each year. The first year it wasn’t much, I just took stuff little by little to a room hidden away on the second floor of the district office, where I worked part of the day. It was nice there, it felt serene. The only window looked out into a treetop, and people had a hard time finding me, which was okay. The second year, I was going to the D.O. fulltime, so had to pack up my office, classroom and parts of a storeroom. I tried to be brutal. Figuring I wouldn’t be likely to return to the classroom, I let go of a lot of stuff, or left it behind for others to use. Still, it involved boxes of stuff, a bookcase and my computer. I moved to a small office that was squeezed in between two larger offices, those of the Directors. The office was fine, but was the center of everything. Too many people were squeezed into one large office area, and their constant conversations from one office to another, and the constant traffic from teachers, parents, and administrators made the area anyting but calm.

Last year, at the end of the year, I was told my office was needed for someone else, and I would have to move. Again. The office I was offered was not great. Huge and dirty, with big air conditioning ducts inside, windows that looked out on the air conditioning machinery for the whole building. I balked at that room (which its new residents have made very nice - where is my bluster, my creativity?) and decided to move into a smaller office with great windows with an old friend who was a teacher on special assignment for a couple of years. No one wanted this one because of its distance from everything else in the building. This office was very nice, although it was another easily forgotten place. It had space and a storage closet along with the good windows, so I packed up again, ready to move. The day I finally finished packing all my goods the superintendent came in and told me I didn’t have to move. She had changed her plans, and I could stay put if I wanted. Or I could move, it was my choice. With all my stuff already in boxes and the prospect of some serenity again, I decided I’d move anyway. This one has definitely been the best office yet. The sun does kind of beat in through those magnificent windows in the late afternoon, but other than that, it is lovely. And calm. Very calm.

So last February, about a week after our Governator announced massive imminent budget cuts, and in the midst of rancorous negotiations between the district and the teachers’ union, in which the union berated the over-abundance of Coordinators in the district, while they suffered with an inadequate raise, I was called to my supervisor’s office. I sensed what was coming. It was a Friday afternoon, and her voice was laden with trepidation - I could hear it through the phone, as she asked me to come down to speak with her. She told me that this was hard, but she had to figure out how to keep me on 40% next year so I could continue to do the Supplemental Educational Services work (which a good administrative assistant could do, no MA or even BA, certainly no credential BCLAD, Administrative or otherwise was needed) and coordinate the district Spelling Bee. Shaking my head I asked her what about the other 60% of my job. She tossed that off with a flick of her hand. Oh that, I was already back in the classroom for that part. That part was definitely gone.

She praised my teamwork, the efficiency of my work, my willingness to do whatever I’m asked without complaint or question. And yet. She said she knew I”d need time to think, and she would help me any way she could with supplemental contracts to keep my income from falling too much. I could call her over the weekend if I needed to talk or if I had any ideas for other little jobs I could do. I got up from her office and went directly to personnel, where I spoke with the director, who told me they were allowing me to keep my tenure and I could go back to the high school where I had worked before. Fearing that the person I would be bumping was my own daughter, I asked him about that. He told me who it would be, and although it was a friend, it was not my child. Saying I’d think it over, I went home, dazed.

The last few months have been packed with intrigue, not only with regard to my position. The short part is that I decided to go to the middle school next year, rather than the high school. Going to the high school felt like going back, and the junior high feels like something new, something I’ve never tried. I like site administration at that level, and feel like spending some time in the classroom will be beneficial. So, here I go again. My boxes are nearly packed. The computer is coming home for the summer, the bookcase and file cabinet are (again) labeled, and I’m moving again. Still trying to whittle my stuff down, but not being very successful at it.

I have a big box of McDougal Littel 7th grade curriculum, along with the district pacing guide to bring home for the summer. I will be leaving everything else in the office with the windows until a portable classroom with my name on it has been installed at the middle school in early August. They hope. When that is in place, I’ll move. Again.

Middle Schoolers vs. High Schoolers

I have taught high school for about fourteen years. I get high school. They come in a little nervous and squirrely, but still have an earnestness, a desire to be successful. At least some of them do. Some of them lost that long before high school and never seem to find it again. You can still see the end of childhood in the softness of their faces. When they are Sophomores they are in transition, and are often giddy, with lots of rough edges. All traces of childhood are gone by this year. They are sometimes hard to like, at least in large numbers. Junior year brings a refreshing calm. They are used to the hormones and are able to focus occasionally on something other than one another. Many of them are completely dedicated to school at this point, and can see college coming up in another year. I think Juniors are delightful. Then they become Seniors. Scared at the beginning of the year and completely out of it by the end. Second semester Seniors are beyond anything a Freshman could ever dream up. And then they are gone, and if you’re lucky they keep in touch with you after they go on to their lives. That’s when you find out that you mattered to them, and maybe made a difference to them.

But what about middle schoolers? I’ve never taught that age before. I know teachers who will ONLY teach eighth grade and some who love teaching seventh grade. I think that seventh graders have a lot of rules to learn, and are feeling the first shots of hormones and have no idea what to do with their new feelings. Do any of them still like school? Is this the year the gang affiliations begin, or was that back in fourth grade? For some of them it is still in the future, I imagine, and for (I hope) the majority, that never becomes an issue. Eighth graders are the big kids of the school and don’t know they are still babes. They think they have it all figured out. Little do they know what awaits at the end of the summer. It is easy to make middle-schoolers cry, especially the boys.

So, I think I know these things. But I don’t know how teaching middle school is different from high school. I know that their curriculum is paced rather tightly (in our district, at least) and that everyone seems to conform to that without question. Will I be able to do that? I’ve never taught a set curriculum, let along been told when to teach what. How much can I expect of the kids in terms of reading, writing, doing homework, group work, tech knowledge? In some ways I think you can do more with middle schoolers than high schoolers, because they are still open to what you have to offer. They are not too cool to play and try things. Am I right? I have so much to learn, I’m beginning again. Does anyone have any useful tips for me?

Pacing: Standards or Curriculum?

It seems that next year I’ll be teaching middle school English Language Development (ELD) and ELD AVID. I’m excited about that, and a little nervous. I have only taught high school, never middle school, and in middle school they use (gulp!) pacing charts. And have a district coach who makes sure people are on pace. Now I get the need to make sure the standards are all taught, they really should be the minimum you do teach. And I understand that in order to determine whether they are being learned, you must do regular benchmark exams, and that teaching the standards on a certain schedule is necessary for those benchmark exams to be meaningful. (I’ll write a different post about testing kids to death.) What I don’t get is the perceived need to pace the curriculum. It seems to me to be most important that you look at your end goal and get there. Period. I can’t imagine someone even telling me what story to read when, much less how long to spend on each one. Isn’t that part of being a teacher? Aren’t decisions like that part of what we do as teachers? I don’t expect this opinion of mine will enhance my popularity, but there it is. Few of my opinions do. I’m looking forward to receiving a copy of the curriculum so I can see what I’m up against and make some plans.

This attitude may be naive of me. I have only taught high school, as I said, and when I was there we didn’t follow pacing charts. We didn’t even have a curriculum we followed until the year after I left, when I managed to get permission to purchase one that had been designed for older students. We had always created stuff and drawn from a variety of sources. That was what ELD teachers did, as there was no other choice.

One year a person from the D.O. came in and told us we had to begin using a certain curriculum (one which seems to be ubiquitous in ELD classes in CA at least, the only one the state adopted until about two years ago. Starts with HP), so we ordered it in adequate numbers but the using of it was something else. It was not created for high school and we found it to be insultng to that age student. So we really didn’t use it much at all. The only thing I could see it was good for was pacing. It does a good job of recycling the standards and I did like that. (So. I’m not totally negative.)

At any rate, it seems that next year will be my chance to put my money where my mouth is. Pacing the standards, not so much the curriculum. Wish me luck!

Graduations

Over Memorial Day weekend I went to three graduation ceremonies, to see four students graduate. The first one was at a community college from which two of my former students were graduating. One, Tao, is a young woman for whom life has been a struggle. She came to the U.S. as a small child, form Ban Vinai refugee camp in Thailand. The week after her high school graduation she was diagnosed with Multiple Drug Resistant TB and hospitalized for several months. A year or so later, when she finally was clear of that, she began college. She had a hard time with the college English classes, and while she worked to pass those she earned certificates in several different areas of Office Management. Her graduation was a victory on many levels, and her family was all there to celebrate her.

The second student, Pang, has a different story. She was accepted to several universities when she graduated high school. Along with her brother and sisters, she played in the school band, and her family attended and videotaped every performance. During her Senior year she made applying for scholarships a priority, and was the top dollar recipient in her Senior class. Although she had several choices of university, she decided to stay home and attend community college. She now plans to transfer to Chico State to study nursing. As always, her family was there for the graduation, her dad videotaping the whole thing.

The second graduation ceremony I attended was at CSU, Sacramento (Sac State), and was held at Arco Arena, where the Kings play. This was for a young man who was inducted into a gang at an early age, and has fought to free himself from it ever since. Once he decided college was what he wanted, he graduated high school a year early and began at the community college. He is a very high energy sort of person, and threw himself into his studies with verve. After finishing at the community college, he transferred to Sac State to study Psychology. While there he did an internship with high school students, and decided he wanted to pursue a degree in school counseling. He will begin his M.A. studies in the fall. Throughout his college career, I have been called upon several times to write letters for him. One was to a judge, to keep him out of jail. That one shook him up. The next one was to help him get into his internship, and the last was to recommend him for the MA program. When he invited me to attend his graduation, he told me that if it weren’t for me and another teacher, he would not be in the position he is in today. He said it would mean the world to him if we were there. When I felt reluctant to drive the 100 miles on a Saturday morning in the rain, I thought, “If it was his funeral, you would attend without giving it a second thought. And you’d donate some money to the family. Why would you hold his college graduation in less regard?” Of course, I wouldn’t. I did go, to the graduation as well as to his home afterwards. And I gave him a gift of some money.

My last graduation of the weekend was at Chico State. The graduate, Jeff, is my daughter’s boyfriend, who had earned a degree in German. He plans to begin the police academy in January. For the past year he has been going on ride-alongs with various police officers, and plans to enroll in a volunteer community service officer training program this summer, before he goes to the academy. He stayed through the heat of the graduation ceremony, despite the masses of grads who were exiting early. He says, “It took me five years to finish college. What’s another twenty minutes of speeches?”

The unifying factor in all these graduations (besides the fact that they all took place on Memorial Day weekend and I went to them all) is that each of these students was the first in their family to graduate from college. The financial situation of their parents are somewhat different, at least between Jeff and my students, but all have achieved the same milestone. They have fulfilled a dream for not only themselves, but for their families. I give them all my highest congratulations and respect. They are why I chose the career I did, and why I continue to believe in the work I do.

The more you learn, the more you discover

I seem to spend inordinate amounts of time on my computer lately. I am learning new things, but the more I learn, the more I discover I don’t know, and need to learn. I think I have my blogs figured out, but you notice there is nothing to listen to here, and nothing that moves. Photos, yeah I get that. I just figured out the tiny URL thing, but haven’t actually tried it yet. Well, I’m about to, but still. Google docs, I can do that, but don’t think to start there. I start with Word or Pages. Or Journler. I still haven’t figured out iMovie, and I can’t for the life of me figure out my iDisk. Now my computer says my startup disk is almost full, and I don’t know how to deal with that. So I’ve decided to lighten the load and delete a bunch of junk from the computer. So I guess it’s a few steps forward and almost as many back. How in the world will I teach kids if I can’t figure out so much stuff? And I seem to know more about this than most of my friends. It’s about information overload, I guess. Making decisions - I think I’ll have to set a timer and only do as much as I have time for in however much time I allow myself. If I don’t I could just be on the computer day and night, clicking away…I probably should be traveling to a far-off place instead. Getting some exercise and sunlight.